Here’s a case where the translation is fine, but the editing has caused harm. In Cloche’s Cosmosphere Level 6-R, there’s a flashback to Level 2. The official localization has different text between the flashback and the original scene, even though the Japanese text is identical in both.
The two official localizations seem like they must have had a common origin, because they’re quite similar, but perhaps one was revised in a second pass through the text while the other was overlooked.
Luca(0) :33:33: JP::奪ってなんていないよ？
ただ、お客様は正直だから…きっともう大鐘食堂さんに飽きたんじゃないのかなっ？ EN::We didn't steal anything. Customers have the right to choose. Maybe they just got tired of your place... NEW:We didn't steal anything. Customers are just honest. They must have gotten tired of your place.
Luca(0) :6:6: JP::奪ってなんていないよ？
ただ、お客様は正直だから…きっともう大鐘食堂さんに飽きたんじゃないのかなっ？ EN::We didn't steal anything. Customers are honest, you know... Maybe they got tired of your place... NEW:We didn't steal anything. Customers are just honest. They must have gotten tired of your place.
This goes on for several more lines; the Level 6-R version actually contains a lot of awkward writing where the Level 2 scene was fine.
Update: Oof, it gets worse as Croix flashes back to each of the previous levels. They could have copied and pasted from the better-written scripts for those levels. But the flashbacks just have more and more problems. It’s actually kind of interesting to be able to see two versions of the same script, one edited and one unedited. It truly does seem that somewhere along the way, NISA just had to stop editing and ship the game. I feel bad thinking about the kind of pressure they must have been under.