Posted by on Aug 6, 2009 in Retranslation log | 3 Comments

Spoilers for Cloche’s Cosmosphere.

Here, the first line’s meaning is mostly lost, because of inaccurate and ungrammatical translation.

When 行動理念 first appears, it’s the completely wrong “the idea I have”. The second time it’s the slightly better, but still incorrect, “philosophy”, but the sense that Cloche is about to reveal the reasons behind her recent behavior is completely lost.

The third time, we get “the reason for your action”. Closer, but so disconnected in its grammar and in meaning that it barely makes sense with the scenes and lines leading up to it.

Finally, the punchline: someone thought that “a wish to destruction” was a perfectly fine translation. “Only if Infel was here” is icing.

Cloche(1) :25:25: 
JP::それは、私の存在…そして行動理念が、
クローシェの他の人格とは一線を画しているものだから。
EN::It has to do with my existence... 
and the idea I have is a little different with 
the other personalities.
NEW:Well, my existence... and my motivations... 
are distinct from those of Cloche's other personas.

Croix(3) :26:26:
JP::…え!?
EN::...What!?
NEW:Huh!?

Cloche(1) :27:27: 
JP::私の行動理念は…
EN::My philosophy is...
NEW:My motivation is...

[...]

Cloche(1) :31:31: 
JP::やれやれ…身体は消滅しても、まだ尚何かの人格がしぶとく食い下がっているようね。
EN::Oh man... Even if the body is gone, 
some kind of personality is still struggling through its way.
NEW:Oh dear... Even with its body annihilated, 
it seems that some persona is still stubbornly hanging on

Croix(3) :32:32:
JP::待て!
お前の行動理念は一体…
EN::Wait! What is the reason for your action...
NEW:Wait! What is your motivation?

Cloche(1) :33:33: 
JP::…破滅願望。
EN::...Wish to destruction.
NEW:...Self-destruction.

Croix(3) :34:34:
JP::破滅願望だって…!?
EN::A wish to destruction...!?
NEW:Self-destruction!?

Croix(3) :35:35:
JP::どうしたらいい…。
こんな時に、インフェルがいてくれたら…
ちくしょう…
EN::What should I do... Only if Infel was here to help... Dammit...
NEW:What am I going to do... If only Infel were here to help me... Dammit...

3 Comments

  1. Sirius
    August 6, 2009

    Woot for new update! “A wish to destruction”… wonder if they used Google to translate some of this when they were pressed for time….

    I.fear.for.Sakura.Taisen.

  2. Hellfire99X
    August 9, 2009

    Oh man… re-reading NISA’s translations, I think I’ve realized why most of Lady Cloche’s Cosmosphere was so forgettable for me. Those lines… they’re Babelfish-bad!

    Needless to say, I greatly prefer your lines. I am SO going to look forward to replaying this game. 😉

  3. Anonymous
    August 11, 2009

    Woot for new update! “A wish to destruction”… wonder if they used Google to translate some of this when they were pressed for time….

    I.fear.for.Sakura.Taisen.

    V, you mean. The other games are unlikely to be brought over, in my honest opinion. Anyway… we can always compare their translations to that fan’s translation since his seems pretty accurate.

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