Posted by on Jul 30, 2011 in Retranslation log | One Comment

Sasha’s synthesis events were pretty good overall, though there are the usual instances of awkward grammar and Cloche using painfully improper speech, like:

Cloche:
JP: 店のおじさんだったかしら?
EN: Was it a shopkeep guy?
NEW: Did he work at the store?

and

Cloche:
JP: というよりも、今の時点でまったくわけのわからないものになってるから…。
EN: More like, I have no idea what it is right now so...
NEW: More precisely, I have no idea what it is at this point...

My favorite part of doing synthesis with Sasha, though, is when something like this happens:

Sasha:
JP: 簡単に言うと、強力なD波をジェネレートするための機械です。あまりに強力すぎて、
  バイナリ野での使用は、周囲の不整合を生むほどです。ですから、プログラムされた
  仮想世界でこれを使うと…
EN: To sum it up, it's a machine that generates strong D-waves.
  It's so strong that using it in the Binary Field causes
  inconsistencies. So in a programmed virtual world, using this
  will...
NEW: Put simply, it's a machine to generate powerful D-waves.
  They're so strong that using it in the Binary Field causes
  localized discrepancies. Therefore, using this in a programmed
  virtual world would...

Everyone else: ...

Sasha:
JP: あ、えっとですね。D波はグラスノが放出している波っていうの知ってますよね?
EN: Oh, um. You know that D-waves are waves emitted by Grathnodes,
  right?
NEW: Ah, um. You know that D-waves are the waves Grathnode emits,
  right?

Everyone else: ...

It’s too bad Jakuri doesn’t do any synthesis here. She’d be able to make sense of what Sasha’s talking about. She certainly makes her presence known in the Cynthia events, though, where the combination of Croix and Jakuri often turns the snark up to eleven. Cynthia is usually oblivious, particularly when Jakuri is (superficially) agreeing with her arguably psychotic opinions, but is more likely just being sarcastic. Croix’s dry humor is more of the brutally honest variety, so the interplay often gets to be amusing.

Cynthia:
JP: 多分、使用者もろとも空の彼方へ飛んでっちゃうからね。
EN: I think it'll even make the wielder go flying into the horizon.
NEW: It'd probably fly off to the horizon and take the user with it.

Jakuri:
JP: 凄いわ……。ここまで乙女心を感じさせるものにするなんて。
EN: That's amazing... You can feel the girliness so clearly.
NEW: Amazing... Such a powerful sense of girlish feeling.

...

Croix:
JP: バーニアのどこが乙女心なんだ?
EN: What part of the vernier is girly?
NEW: What part of the vernier has to do with girlish feelings?

Jakuri:
JP: ……最低ね。これがわからないなんて、鈍感を通り越して罪よ。
EN: ...You suck. If you can't understand, you're beyond dull. It's
  a sin.
NEW: ...You suck. Not understanding this is a crime surpassing
  thickheadedness.

Cynthia:
JP: 悪く言わないであげて。クー君はちょっと罪深い鈍感男なだけなんだよ。
EN: Don't be too mean to him. Coo's just a sinful, dull man.
NEW: Don't be so hard on him. Coo's just a criminally dense man.

Jakuri:
JP: ふん……。これからは少し、見る目をつけるための努力をしなさい。
EN: Hmph... You can at least make effort into knowing what to look
  for.
NEW: Hmph... Make a little more effort to have a discerning eye.

Croix:
JP: 俺には一生かかってもわからないと断言できるよ。
EN: I can tell you now. Even a lifetime isn't enough for me to
  understand.
NEW: I can assure you that I wouldn't understand even after a
  lifetime of trying.

See? You could argue that Jakuri actually means what she’s saying, but I think she’s just mocking the concept.

Jakuri:
JP: ……ごちそうさま。
EN: ...Show offs.
NEW: ...Get a room, you two.

Cynthia’s behavior around Croix makes everyone uncomfortable. That comment doesn’t work unless it’s adequately clear what Jakuri is talking about. The bit of extra sarcasm also suits her better.

Cynthia:
JP: お、恐ろしい……。ジャクリちゃん、恐ろしいよ。
EN: Y-you're fearful... Jacqli, so fearful.
NEW: F-fearsome... Jakuri, you're fearsome.

“Fearful” more correctly means “afraid” (full of fear) than “frightening” (causing fear in others). “Fearsome” is the oher way around. Jakuri is much closer to fearless than fearful.

Cynthia:
JP: そうだよ。これで戦っているクー君…きっと超カッコイイだろうなぁ…。
EN: Yup. Coo, fighting in this outfit... I bet it'll be super
  awesome...
NEW: Yup. Coo, fighting with this... I bet you'll look so cool...

That comes after they’ve made a weapon. How did an outfit get mixed up in that?

Jakuri:
JP: これはね、他人との息をピッタリ合わせるのに使う機械なのよ。
EN: This is a machine that lets you match perfectly with other
  people.
NEW: This, you see, is a machine you use to perfectly match your
  breathing with someone else.

Sometimes details go missing. There’s also a hint of a superior attitude that went missing, too.

Jakuri:
JP: 間違われたらそいつもこれで返り討ちにすればいいのよ。
EN: Then you beat them up with this instead.
NEW: Then you just use this to take out anyone who gets the wrong idea.

Croix:
JP: それだと悪役じゃなくて悪人そのものじゃないか?
EN: That's a real villain.
NEW: Wouldn't that make me outright evil instead of just seeming like
  a bad guy?

One of several exchanges that suffered.

Cynthia:
JP: そうだなぁ、使うときは半径50000ストン以内に民家や街がない事を確認して。
EN: Hmm, make sure there's no homes or towns within a 50,000 stone
  radius.
NEW: Hmm, make sure there aren't any houses or towns within a 50,000
  Ston radius when you use it.

Cloche:
JP: 50000ストン…って…この世界全体でも直径30000ストンも無いのよ!?
EN: 50,000 stone... But... The entire world isn't even 30,000 stone
  in diameter!
NEW: 50,000 Stons... wait... our whole world isn't even 30,000 Stons
  in diameter!

The unit of distance is normally a Ston, not a stone, but other than that, they did fine here. This is more interesting for the information it gives. A Ston is equal to 3.1 meters according to the Ar tonelico wiki, which gives the bomb a radius of nearly 100 miles and makes Metafalss under 58 miles in diameter. For comparison, the land around Ar tonelico (the Wings of Horus) during the Third Era measures roughly 140,000 Stons (270 miles) by 115,000 Stons (220 miles), most of that being a solid landmass. In other words, Sol Ciel has around 16 billion square Stons (60,000 square miles) of land, roughly the size of the state of Georgia, while Metafalss would barely amount to 700 million square Stons (2,600 square miles), around the size of Delaware, even if the entire area were solid land, which it isn’t. I’d estimate from art of the region that the actual land area is maybe one third of that, probably less, with significant portions (like the Ironplate Desert) that are uninhabitable. Now recall that the population is roughly one million…

1 Comment

  1. ION
    July 30, 2011

    Wow, these original translations are quite amusing to read at times. Good to see that everything’s going smoothly.

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