Posted by on Jul 31, 2011 in Retranslation log | 9 Comments

Hello! I am nearly done retranslating Frelia’s Binary Field. Here is a feast of specimens from my recent work on it.

The word 狙う is repeatedly translated as to try to kill, when it should be something more like to go after:

Fururu(203) :2:2:
JP::私が狙われた、ってこと。
しかも、ペンギンさんのぬいぐるみを着た
変な人に狙われるなんて……。
EN::Somebody’s trying to kill me. Why am I chased after by the person in a penguin costume?
NEW:That someone is out to get me. And not just anyone, but some strange person in a penguin costume.

Is it that unbelievable that a woman might be rich, without being the daughter of a rich man?

Fururu(203) :5:5:
JP::私はそんなにお金持ちじゃないから、
前からずっと狙い続けてるのは変だし。
EN::I’m not like a wealthy man’s daughter or anything. It’s so odd someone has been trying to get me for a long time.
NEW:I’m not that rich, so it’s weird that they keep coming after me.

Here Fururu uses “he” to refer to the person chasing her, then goes on to say that that person is a woman:

Fururu(203) :7:7:
JP::テーブル見れば私以外にも連れがいるのは
わかるだろうから、一人でいる人を狙うん
じゃないかなって思うんだけど……。
EN::Why me? There were so many other people at the cafe. He knew I wasn’t alone. Why didn’t he pick someone else?
NEW:But they could see that I had someone with me at my table. Why not choose someone who was alone?

Fururu(203) :8:8:
JP::それに、あのペンギンの人は女だったから、外見が好みだったから、っていうのは無いと思うし……。
EN::Besides, I think the person in the penguin was a woman. I don’t think she liked me.
NEW:Plus, it was a woman in that penguin suit. So I don’t think she came after me just because she was attracted.


More use of “he” for female characters:

Misha(197) :121:121:
JP::ボスはそれを考えて、あなたを再び組織へ
連れ戻そうとお考えなのよ。
もっとも、あなたは拒否したけどね。
EN::Our boss thought about it, and he wants you to come back, even though you rejected.
NEW:So with that in mind, the Boss decided to try to get you back. Regardless of your refusal.

A new favorite for awkward phrasing:

Miwa(152) :129:129:
JP::くっ、逃がすか!!
EN::I won’t let you go.
NEW:Hmph! You’re not getting away!

(150) :130:130:
JP::させないわ。
ここから先は通さない。
EN::I won’t let you not to let her go.
NEW:Stop right there. You’re not getting past me.

Total meaning breakdown:

Miwa(152) :139:139:
JP::ああ、彌紗を逃がすための時間稼ぎには
なったみたいね。
数秒程度だけど……。
EN::She didn’t do any help for them except stopping us from chasing Misha for a few second.
NEW:Oh, but she did succeed in buying Misha enough time to escape. Just a few seconds, though…

Kuroaki(202) :140:140:
JP::……悪かったな。
変な気を使わせて。
EN::Sorry for protecting us.
NEW:…Sorry to distract you.

Miwa(152) :141:141:
JP::別に、気なんかつかってないわ。
EN::I didn’t protect you guys at all.
NEW:Oh, don’t worry about it.

Underwater world domination!

(No name)(130) :170:4294967295:
JP::組織の勢力拡大は人々の知らないところで
進んでいき、世界征服まで後一歩のところ
まで来ていた。
EN::Their power expands more and more underwater, and it is only a matter of time before they conquer the world.
NEW:The Syndicate’s underground influence expanded, until they were one step short of world conquest.

Inexplicably vulgar and inaccurate narrator:

(No name)(130) :171:4294967295:
JP::だが、畔章はそれについては何も思わない。何も不満はない。
EN::However, Kuroaki doesn’t give a shit about it.
NEW:But Kuroaki thought nothing of it. He did not disapprove in the least.

I never thought someone could mistake “dilution” for “delusion”:

Kuroaki(202) :19:19:
JP::自分にはとてつもない目標があったとする。それはもう、目標というよりはただの妄想と言った方がいい目標だ。
EN::Let’s say…you have a big ambition. It’s almost more a dilution than an ambition.
NEW:Say you have some outrageous ambition. No, it would be better to call it a delusion than an ambition.

Mid-sentence first-person to second-person shift:

Kuroaki(202) :21:21:
JP::それがもし、簡単に叶えられるというのを
実際に自分の目で見たら、どうする?
EN::But someone comes up to me, saying, “I’ll help you make your dream come true right now,” then what would you do?
NEW:What would you do if you saw, with your own eyes, an easy way to make it happen?

Collapsing a meaningful admonition into a snide dismissal:

Miwa(152) :24:24:
JP::模範解答はやめなさい。
それに、将来の夢を叶えるってレベルの
安い話じゃないのよ。
EN::Cut the crap and be realistic, Fururu.
NEW:Don’t think about idealistic solutions. This is about more than just being able to realize your dreams for the future.

Meaning reversal:

Miwa(152) :26:26:
JP::その妄想以上のことだって、自分の手で
叶えることが出来るかもしれない可能性を
手に入れることが出来る。
EN::Whatever ambitions, or even delusions you have are futile.
NEW:You would gain the kind of power that might let you realize even more than that delusion.

The translation here had two possible interpretations, both wrong:

Miwa(152) :53:53:
JP::ボスはあなたを気にいってるらしいけど、
他の人間はあなたを嫌ってるみたいだしね。
EN::Their boss seems to like you, but definitely not me.
NEW:I guess the boss likes you, but the others don’t seem to.

Totally unnecessary intensification:

Kuroaki(202) :11:11:
JP::……ですね。
そうします。
EN::Wiser words were never said.
NEW:…Right. I will.

Sheesh… Misspeling of a character’s name, followed by bewilderingly inappropriate crude humor.

Misha(197) :50:50:
JP::そう簡単にいくかしら?
麗珠!!
EN::It’s not that simple. Reiju, go!
NEW:Could it be that simple? Reisu!

Reish(151) :51:51:
JP::はい、彌紗様。
……装着!!
EN::Yes, Lady Misha. Equipment complete!
NEW:Yes, Misha−Sama. Equipped!

Reish(151) :52:52:
JP::……さあ、どこからでもかかってらっしゃい。
EN::Bring it on, Mitsubiyotchi!
NEW:…All right, show me what you’ve got!

Miwa(152) :53:53:
JP::後悔してもしらないわよ!!
EN::You’ll regret calling me that!
NEW:You asked for it!

9 Comments

  1. void
    August 1, 2011

    Wow. I thought Frelia’s cosmosphere couldn’t get any worse, but there’s evidently no lower limit for NISA’s translation ability. Probably a good thing there’s only one level left, all things considered.

  2. Zel
    August 1, 2011

    Great work! I’m very much looking forward to this! 🙂

  3. ION
    August 1, 2011

    Wow indeed this is … sad and amusing at the same time >__> .

  4. Sirius
    August 3, 2011

    Yes Only thing better than an update is two updates!

    Mitsubiyotchi… wonder if the guy thought he was hilarious.

  5. Bladewind
    August 17, 2011

    I agree with most of especially the above ^ However, one thing caught my eye:

    Miwa(152) :53:53:

    The first two kanji is regret, often used along the line of “I will make you regret it”. The new translation of “you asked for it” seems to tone down or simplified it a tad too much.

  6. fet
    August 17, 2011

    Well, the original is “koukai shite mo shiranai yo!”, which is a little hard to translate directly. It’s not just “you’ll regret it”; that would be something like “koukai sasete yaru!”

    But the “shiranai”, literally “I don’t know”, suggests that “even if you end up regretting it, I’m not going to take responsibility”. That is, any regret you experience in the future is entirely your own fault, because you have invited me to attack you.

  7. Sirius
    December 23, 2011

    No updates in a while, huh? Checking this site almost daily.Ar Tonelico 2 deserves better after all.

  8. Qpax
    December 30, 2011

    @Sirius same here and they were supposed to finish it at the end of this year but 2012 is almost here T_T”

  9. .tomi
    February 4, 2012

    That first line is something like: “So it means I’m being chased? …Why it must be some weirdo wearing a penguin constume? T_T “

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