Posted by on Mar 6, 2009 in Retranslation log | 15 Comments

aquagon from the translation team here!

And I’m pleased to announce that Phase 1 (the longest of the 5 phases the game has), has been translated completely!

Still, that doesn’t mean the translation is nearing its end, given that these translated scripts need to be checked and edited, and there is still a lot of material still to be translated (cosmospheres, menu texts, synthesis conversation, among others), but we hope to progress as quickly as we can.

And about the translation,I have found something curious in the later scenes of Phase 1:

More than once, the characters call the land created by Metafalica “Gaea” in the localized version, when in the original one, they called it simply “大陸” (land or continent), and the equivalent JP term for Gaea (魔大陸, which means “Demon/Magical/Mystical Continent”) doesn’t actually appear until much, much later. For example:

Croix(3) :49:49:
JP::俺が、大陸に上り、上で何が起こっているかを見てきます。
EN::I’ll go up into Gaea, and see what’
s going on.
NEW:I’ll go up into the continent, and
see what’s going on.

I would call it somewhat spoilerish…

15 Comments

  1. Rude
    March 6, 2009

    Hi, nagging anonymous from before here. Who will henceforth call himself Rude, since that’s what he probably comes across as. My apologies for any offense, I don’t mean it personally; I just want this project to be the best that it can.

    Anyway, I’ve been peeking at aquagon’s translations too. I won’t go into details (in part because my considerably more fluent IRC buddy has shown no interest in doing such), but I noticed a worrying tendency towards excessive literalism. Phrases like “I see that you have a wound in your arm.”, “It turns fatal in times like this!” and “Oh, yes! I have the privilege of working as a Dive Therapist!” are just weird in English.

    I have no doubt this can be cleaned up in the proofing/editing stage, but since I understand you’re all going over each others’ work as translation checkers, I wanted to reassure myself aquagon wasn’t an active proponent of this kind of literalism and wouldn’t deconstruct fetjuel’s quite natural-sounding translations for the sake of exact vocabulary and grammar correspondence to the original Japanese. :p And maybe encourage him to loosen up a little in his further efforts- after doing a literal retranslation, ask yourself whether NISA’s translation wasn’t a natural and reasonable way of phrasing that in English even if the meaning isn’t precisely the same. (The three examples I provided above were originally “Your arm is injured, sir.”, “It’s life-threatening at times like this!”, and “Oh, yes! I work as a Dive Therapist!”- all perfectly acceptable in my opinion.)

    I also question his handling of name suffixes. Is there really a problem with Croix’s fellow Grand Bell Knights calling him “Sir Croix” (as opposed to your Mr. Croix or no prefix at all?… though the one occurance of ‘Mr. Croix’ irks me more than consistantly having no suffix at all would.) And the constructions “Lady Maiden of Calamity” and “Our Lady Maiden” to preserve the 様 just sound redundant and unwieldy. Maybe you should standardize those things between yourselves beforehand, in order to save work for the editors.

    Regardless of my doubts, my thanks to aquagon and the rest of you for your hard work thus far, and keep it up!

  2. fetjuel
    March 6, 2009

    Hello anonymous! I’m glad I didn’t scare you away with my own amateurish mistakes earlier. Thanks very much for all of the feedback you (and your IRC friend) have submitted.

    It’s true, I’m pretty sure that aquagon’s first language isn’t English. But I for one think he is a tremendous asset, especially seeing how quickly he finished Phase 1! On top of that is his deep knowledge of Ar tonelico mythos, having translated lots of the original materials into Spanish and English. Having said that, yes, we do have a small team of editors who will pore over the scripts that we translators produce, and make sure that everything harmonizes as consistently and naturally as possible.

    I agree that the editors will need to be cautious about things like honorifics and how they translate to English titles. We’ve had a few spirited discussions about this on the forum, and the final decisions will be up to the editing team.

    Thanks again for coming by! We’ll do our best to meet the expectations of you and the rest of the community.

  3. aquagon
    March 6, 2009

    Well, I’m mostly doing a translation that could be taken as literal, so the other translators and the editors can see how I interpreted the sentences, and both decide how to reword them out from there, since I was mostly going by the guideline that says that translators should focus only in providing an accurate translation, and leave it to the editors to make it sound natural. However, for some of the dialogues, you can also see I tried to make them sound as natural as I could, while trying to preserve the natural meaning (and I have done the same I for my song lyrics and official material translations, though they need a little editing…)

    But no, I’m not proposing excessive literalism, since also agree that a totally literal translation is the worst way to go, but… since my abilities at rephrasing something in English aren’t as good as I would wish, I’m leaving the rephrasing to others that I know are much capable of conveying these dialogues in a more natural way than what I could. I suppose that’s just natural, given that English is my second language (my mother tongue is Spanish).

    And yeah, since I have a lot of free time on my hands, I could devote myself to translating the scripts (though on turn I had to pause my Settei Book and Hymmnos Musical translations for doing so), and I’ll try to use the most I can of the college vacation timw I still have for translating. And thanks for telling us your worries, and for your support to the project! We’ll do our best to provide a translation that’s both accurate and natural sounding!

  4. Anonymous
    March 21, 2009

    I’ve noticed that you’re still using “Croix” for Chroah. Is there a special reason connecting the meaning of the french word ‘croix’ to ‘Chroah’?

  5. fetjuel
    March 21, 2009

    Hi Anonymous! There are a few reasons there.

    We’re only trying to fix things that seem obviously wrong. For all we know, NISA may have asked GUST whether the name クロア had any special inspiration that they should keep in mind. GUST may have answered that yes, the pronunciation came from the French word (even if the Romanization in the design materials was spelled differently); this could be, considering that クローシェ also matches the French word for “bell”. Or, they may have answered that it was just made up; in that case it didn’t really matter how it was spelled, so NISA opted to spell it in a way that’s more attractive and accessible for Westerners.

    It’s a fine distinction to make (especially considering that we’ve chosen to restore any Kanji names that were changed), and there are drawbacks. But in the absence of any very strong evidence that the NISA has gone against GUST’s intentions on these names, we’ve opted to preserve consistency with the existing official materials available in English. Currently the only evidence is the occasional appearance of Romanizations in the Japanese materials, which could be argued to be more decorative than meaningful.

  6. Anonymous
    March 22, 2009

    Couldn’t you just email them? Like how Witch Hunters emailed Ryu07 about their project? The Japanese, I think, would most definitely clarify on this matter.

  7. Sirius
    March 24, 2009

    Just found out about this project. Really looking forward to your work as I feel NISA’s translation is a mess, unless AT2 is actually a catologue for middle school sex jokes.

    You guys are awesome, best of luck.

  8. Anonymous
    March 27, 2009

    So, are y’all going to change Truelyworth back to Truelywaath, Jacqli to Jakuri, and Goro back to Gengoro at least? But to be honest, a mix of both officially romanized and NISA-translated would probably be best. And, seeing as how it’s a fan project, who cares what NISA thinks? The name changes were all just speculation. That’s how I see it, anyway.

  9. Anonymous
    March 27, 2009

    Scratch that, I just noticed that you are changing it back to Truelywaath.

  10. Anonymous
    March 27, 2009

    And Jakuri. Damn, this site needs a delete button.

  11. Anonymous
    March 27, 2009

    I just discovered the forums. Damn it all.

  12. Anonymous
    March 27, 2009

    Anyway, regarding Viena: Perhaps Vienna? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Music_of_Vienna

  13. TerraBreaker
    March 30, 2009

    I notice the forums have been taken down due to a TOS violation – which I’m imagining is related to this project (I long suspected this would happen sooner or later.) Might be an idea to move the central forum somewhere underground and lock out none team-members.

  14. Anonymous
    March 31, 2009

    So you’re saying we got spies prowling about?

  15. 2009
    September 16, 2009

    I to like Your editing.

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